woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
