If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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