Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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