Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
