Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Please don't give away my fajitas
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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