yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
