make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
