i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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