with your own penis?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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