Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
