he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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