Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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