his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You ruined the universe
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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