Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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