hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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