You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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