i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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