life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
