Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
