i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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