And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
