I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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