Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
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My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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