D3 body, D1 cock
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Floor bacon is actually really good
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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