remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
