the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
