1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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