i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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