Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
