god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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