I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dicks are not precious.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
