I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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