So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize