I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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