When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
