is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
