i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
