party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
