literally had 100 drinks last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
