Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
