just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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