she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize