absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize