Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
