if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
