Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
