wakey wakey hands off snakey
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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