and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
