Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
