1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
