Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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