i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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