only you would photoshop your dick
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
