I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
