dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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