I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
