Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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